My 2017 year in review
- Dec 31, 2017
- 3 min read
It was one of the toughest year I had to go through.
I've always had these feelings that I wasn't in the right path and it wasn't gonna lead me to success.
I had depression. Even if I was studying in the top university that could be someone else's dream.
And having a supportive family that pay for me should be enough.
I remember myself running in the evening at the campus, looking Iike a healthy girl. But broken inside. I was listening to motivational speeches instead of those edm songs. But they gave me the same effect...my heart's pounding.
you might think..I'm just a loser. But I actually have a decent amount of activities and I'm a top performer of the class with some subjects. I always party with my Thai and foreigner friends. For most people, I look like this happy carless girl.
My classmate would asked me like 'why do you over think so much?' but how can I not be overthinking when career and success is the only thing I desire. And knowing that i wasn't on the right path keep me feeling depressed and insecure. I had suicidal thoughts all the time.
I couldn't fully live my life how i wanted and I couldn't 100% made every decisions by myself. So I started my first job as an English tutor during the weekend, of course It didn't give me a lot of money but it's the feeling of 'I can do whatever I want with those money' .
Months went by..I wasn't into what I was studying and I already decided that I wasn't gonna apply for the second year. It almost impossible to tell my parents that I will stop going to university. We had a very very big fight. I left home, went to Bangkok with nothing but 2000 baht in my pocket and visions in my head.
I had two months left before the registering period began. I started as "a hostess" at the event. An event became several events in a month. But I wasn't feeling stable as it was freelancing job.
After that I was working as a part time job at the BB Building Asoke. I had to wear heels and office clothes to work. Cos I'm 19 and needed to look put together and reliable. After some time they offer me the 'Office supervisor position' I was so happy. The salary is above a graduated. I still haven't talk to family but my little sister to tell her about my new position.
I sent my resume to Bear Hug production, wish for nothing. I guess I love going to an interview. They called me and offer a position, I remembered myself crying at the sushi restaurant because how far I've come. My salary's above 2x graduated salary. Everything was so quick and overwhelmed. so I quit my job at Asoke. It's been almost 6 months working with Bear hug. I've never felt as satisfied as I am now. Working with such great people in great environment. I start doing all the projects I had in my head that got blocked by "home works".
I went back home. My parents are always believe in me and let me decide everything.
Now I have so many projects in my head, one of them is going to change an education system in Thailand forever. I'm self employed at the moment, I spend most of my time doing research and read and going to meetups because I view it as 'the opportunity hub'. Working on this project and doing my best.
"the best decision I've made this year is quit studying"
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